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Amy Says…
Hello {{first_name}} ,
When I travel, I like to stay in places that have a kitchen. That means if I'm there more than a few days, I'll visit a grocery store. Which is how I ended up inside a store called Meijer in Western Michigan. This store might be the largest retail space I have ever personally set foot in. (Yes, bigger than Costco)
I might not have noticed except I needed toothpaste, and the toothpaste is not with the groceries. After asking for directions twice, I finally found the pharmacy and beauty section, which is all the way on the other side of the building from the produce. You can buy anything in this store. You could outfit a space mission to Mars in this store. Okay, maybe not exactly that, but you get the idea.
True story: my friend texted me about making plans while I was there, and I replied, "I might be late. I think I'm lost inside the Meijer." She was not surprised. I thought that was funny, but I guess if you live here you already know.
Now, here are this week's Imperfect Adulting stories.
Courtney Boyer shares her personal experience shifting from an evangelical upbringing to polyamory. Becky Mollenkamp shares the story of a pretty complete life do-over, including relationships, career, and identity. I think you’ll love both of these.
Here’s the ask: Please subscribe to my YouTube channel. I’m happy to explain why I’m asking because this is probably something that creators like me should talk more about.
Table of Contents
Relationships | Polyamory After Purity Culture
Courtney Boyer
There is a version of a good life that gets handed to you before you are old enough to question it. For Courtney Boyer, that version came packaged inside an evangelical Christian upbringing, complete with a checklist: wait for marriage, support your husband, manage the household, raise the children, and do not, under any circumstances, want things you are not supposed to want.
Boyer did all of it. She got married at 22, supported her husband through medical school while managing three children under age 4, built her own career as a sex therapist, and kept the whole structure standing. From the outside, it looked like a very successful life. On the inside, something was quietly caving in. Her story is about what happens when the life you built to be acceptable stops being livable, and what choosing honesty actually costs.
Connect with Courtney: www.courtneyboyercoaching.com
Please take a few seconds and do me a favor
Please subscribe to my YouTube channel. I will be upfront about why I'm asking, because this is something independent creators probably don't talk about enough.
You probably already know that free content isn't actually free to make. YouTube has a subscriber threshold that has to be hit before the platform pays creators. I'm working toward that number, and you can help me get there for free. Subscribing is one of the simplest ways to support this show without spending any money.
I'll admit I have my own complicated feelings about paywalls and paying for content. I'll happily drop money on a streaming tv subscription, a movie ticket, or a concert but I get annoyed when I hit a paywall on a blog article or a creator asks me to join their paid-content mid-video just to see the ending. I think that friction is real.
When you subscribe to the YouTube channel it doesn't clutter your feed. YouTube isn't intrusive about this. You won't suddenly be bombarded with my content unless you choose to go looking for it.
Divorce and Grief | Leaving Comfort Behind for Authentic Happiness
Life after major upheaval rarely arrives as a single, dramatic event. More often, it comes in a cluster, a cascade of things falling apart at once, that leaves you standing in the wreckage of a life that used to make sense. For Becky Mollenkamp, that cluster arrived in 2010, when divorce, the death of her younger brother, and a collapsing career all converged into what she calls "the date that will live in infamy" in her life: July 4, 2010.
If you have ever found yourself unhappy in a life that looks, on paper, like it should be everything you wanted, this story is for you. If you have lost a sibling and felt oddly sidelined in your own grief, this story is for you. And if you have ever had to rebuild your identity, your income, and your sense of purpose all at the same time, you already know how long that road is. Mollenkamp talks about all of it without softening the edges.
Becky Mollenkamp
Listen to Becky’s Podcast: Messy Liberation https://feeds.transistor.fm/messyliberation
Buy Her Book https://beckymollenkamp.com/book/
📕 🎧 Things Worth Your Time
This is where we share the cool suggestions for books, podcasts, gadgets that make life better and other fun stuff that our guests share during their interviews.
Courtney suggests the book: Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon
How You Can Support The Art of Imperfect Adulting
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